I have this thing for perfume. I’m a collector and I love to think about it and I take a lot of pleasure imagining what my favorite character’s might wear. Sometimes the exercise is restricted by a character (Dean Winchester might wear Drakkar Noir, if anything, but he probably just wears a scented deodorant stick, most likely something conservative like the original Old Spice). But then sometimes fucking Hannibal Lecter comes along and canonically recognizes a rare, niche women’s perfume with one sniff and blows everyone else out of the water and omg I want to put perfume on him.
So what would Hannibal Lecter wear?
(note: part of me thinks Hannibal wouldn’t usually wear anything because he’s a goddamn perfect predator and he wouldn’t want you to smell him coming up behind you in his stocking feet.)
All my usual favorite men’s houses strangely don’t work for Hannibal: Tom Ford’s private collection is too obvious, Serge Lutens is an eehhh, maybe?, but most likely creates the same problem as Tom Ford. Amouage is a little too much, too rich. Maybe he’d wear Memoir Man, but most likely he’d find it loud (I can’t believe I’m saying this about an Amouage scent). And Creed is just no. No Creed. He’d find Creed’s false elitism coarse and vulgar.
You know what I think he would wear? I think Hannibal Lecter would wear a lot of rare, vintage women’s scents.
THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, but vintage women’s scents aren’t the flighty, strawberry candy scents women wear now, they’re often bodily, contralto, plush, smoky-dark, dry, astringent, sultry, leathery, mossy, sexy…and many male collectors wear classic vintage women’s scents because our modern tastes have refashioned them as unisexual. Hannibal Lecter could wear vintage Chanel Cuir de Russie, which smells like fine glove leather with this tiny, furry sort of dirty furstink note underneath. It’s civilized and polite with this undertone of filthy sex.
Or he would wear Jacques Fath’s Iris Gris, which is one of the loveliest, warmest Iris perfumes of all time. Iris can be cold, metallic, camphorous, but Iris Gris gave us a warm, peachy Iris and on a man it would smell plush and dandified and golden and delicious.
And my last vintage perfume is a longshot (and other perfume fanatics will laugh!), but oh my good god if Hannibal smelled like Vintage Bal a Versailles by Jean Desprez, I’d probably climb him like a tree. Bal a Versailles is this peppery, spicy, musky women’s scent that basically smells like the abstract version of woman’s arousal. It’s intensely, wonderfully filthy and sexy and I want to lick it off him OK MOVING ON…
If Hannibal Lecter was to wear modern scents, I’d imagine him in something like Parfumerie Generale’s Querelle, which is a unisex scent that smells like moss, sweat (cumin), sex (myrrh and cinnamon) and incense. It’s fucking gorgeous dressed up and equally gorgeous fucked into a mattress. Or he would maybe wear Malle’s (and Roucel’s) Musc Ravageur, which is an animalic-musky perfume that has this medicinal spicy topnote that keeps it all buttoned up and polite for day wear.
Or for something that is manly and simple but gorgeous, Knize Ten, which is an incense-y, birch tar leather warmed with an unsweetened strawberry note. It’s actually pretty masculine and passes as a conservative daywear scent, but straddles the fence a little into DANDY territory. It just smells good. I could see him wearing this.
Anyway, all of this just kills me. and tl;dr, Hannibal Lecter probably smells really good.
(Also note: from the hints we got, Will Graham probably receives drugstore holiday collections of Dana’s Canoe or Nautica Classic. Both of which are a damn shame, boy should smell like L’Artisan’s Timbuktu. Boy would get SO MUCH PLAY if he smelled like L’Artisan’s Timbuktu. Or Gucci Pour Homme in the old brown/ivory checkered box. WILLIAM, you could smell so good. UNNNF.)